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Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

Moore, Christopher - Finished Oct 24, 2016

Run-on Sentence Summary

A unique and irreverent humor book about the life of Jesus before the stories in the bible, told from his best friend Biff’s perspective.


This is a fun book with a strange premise. The story is told from the perspective of Jesus’s best friend, Biff, a lovable asshole who acts as Jesus’s foil. Biff is sex crazed and irresponsible, and it is entertaining how he plays off of the boringly perfect and benevolent Jesus figure.

At its core, Lamb is just an old school adventure story. It has many tropes from fantasy, such as worshiping the girl (Mary Madeline aka Maggie) and mastering skills from gurus. Jesus was a kung fu master! The basic outline of the majority of the book is that the two travel to the east to learn from the three magi, who end up representing three schools of eastern philosophy, taoism, buddhism and hinduism.

Moore has a silly sense of humor, and the book never takes itself seriously. As you’d expect, its peppered with biblical references, such as Jesus (called Joshua) haggling with Biff over who will get what when kingdom come as he prepares his sermon on the mount. Ok, so the meek get to inherit the earth, what about the dumbfucks? Blessed are the dumbfucks. The two are constantly saying things like “jeez” and “you scared the bejeezus out of me,” which is stupid in the best way.

Not being Christian, I probably only picked up on about half of the biblical references. Moore is aware of this problem, and gives this great quote in the afterword when explaining his decision not to annotate them:

"footnotes would detract from the flow of the story. The problem arises, however, that if the reader knows the Bible well enough to recognize the real references, there’s a good chance that he or she has decided not to read this book.”

Perhaps some day I’ll finally get around to reading the Bible.

Final Thoughts

This book is full of the kinds of jokes where you smile a bit and exhale through your nose.

Favorite Quote

“The Vegemites smote the Marmites?” “Yeah, Excretions three-six.” “I don’t remember that. I guess I need to brush up on my Torah.”